While I’ve always liked to cook, going out to eat pre-SIBO used to be such a pleasurable, social experience. I liked to mix it up! Alas, restaurant dining is now a scary gauntlet and it completely puts your life in someone else’s hands. I have had my dairy intolerance for so long and had always been very diligent about asking for “no butter, no cream, no milk, no cheese” but now with so many restricted foods on the SIBO diet and knowing how sick I can get, I feel like a terrible pest every time I order.
This week I had to eat at restaurants a lot due to work meetings and some social gatherings, and I had my food served wrong with the foods I asked to be removed or exchanged 4 out of 6 times. Once, the sauce that had mango and soy (both high FODMAP) was served on top of the fish and when I sent it back it was returned to me with the sauce wiped off so that you could still see the traces of it. Gross. Another time, I asked for my salad to be served with oil and red wine vinegar on the side and the top of the lettuce was dry so I thought it was safe, but then there was a lot of salad dressing at the bottom of the bowl. Ugh.
What do you do when your detailed order comes to you all wrong? You send it back and feel like the server and chef hate you. And you feel self conscious about holding up the rest of your dining party. Even if the server is sweet, you don’t often get to see the chef’s reaction and possible annoyance. I do want to note that I have talked to owners, managers and even chefs at some restaurants recently and some go out of their way to treat you and your food with the respect you deserve. Some people seemed to care less unfortunately and they have forever lost my business.
So eating out is always a roll of the dice… and a gamble we all must take or live and dine in isolation, which would suck for me. I worked to observe myself this week and how I handled everything. I was often self-depricating, overly appreciative and trying to be patient when things went wrong. So, I can offer the following tips that have helped me.
Tips to survive:
– Memorize your diet avoidance list or keep it on your phone if in doubt.
– Get the table on your side and assemble a support team! Hopefully you are dining with friends and family who might know your issues so they will be supportive of you getting your order just right. But if you have a table of co-workers or acquaintances, just try to be lighthearted and let them know that you have many food allergies and intolerances that are quite serious. I find I always make a joke of some kind before we order.
– Order first or last so that you have the server’s full attention and ask them to come closer to you if they are on the other side of the table.
– Nicely explain you have severe and complicated food allergies that can make you very sick if you eat the wrong thing. I find I always end up saying “Sorry for being a pain…”
– Make sure salads don’t have dressings on them, don’t have croutons, don’t have sugar coated nuts or dried fruit, and don’t have cheese (unless you are sure you can eat it). Most other things can be picked off easily (like onions), but the aforementioned items often leave remnants.
– Make sure to ask how meat and veggies are prepared and what if anything they are marinated or cooked in if it does not specify on the menu. There are lots of hidden sugars and starches.
– Always ask for no garlic if things are sauteed in olive oil. Minced garlic usually goes hand in hand with olive oil.
– Don’t be afraid to ask for substitutions and things that are listed as sides for other dishes.
– Order legal veggies steamed with a side of oil and red wine vinegar if you have ANY doubts that they could come back smothered in butter or garlic.
– You made it to the end of the meal! A small serving of berries without any added sugar or cream is a safe bet for dessert if everyone else is indulging so you don’t have to be left out.
Hope this information can help you stay strong and enjoy a meal out every once in a while.